


How Not To treat Your Body: A Doctor's Guide

by Forget_About_Me



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Desperation, Episode: s04e08-9 Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Omorashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 15:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17185571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forget_About_Me/pseuds/Forget_About_Me
Summary: The Doctor is known to be able to get completely engaged with whatever it is that caught his attention, in such a way that he doesn't register what happens around him nor does he realise what happens within him. And he'd be lying if he said that it never brought him in trouble.old name: Distracted Problems





	How Not To treat Your Body: A Doctor's Guide

**Author's Note:**

> Aight... so as you might know there is a disappointingly small amount of Doctor Who Omo on the internet. And then I show up with this piece of trash..... According to my files, I started writing this about a year ago and only continued recently... Please don't ask me why I thought it to be a good idea to have a cheap rewrite-ish version of Silence in the Libray/Forest of the Dead, because the only person that might be capable of answering that would be past me and he isn't really available. a bit of a hermit I've been told.  
>   
> I decided to continue what I've started and finished this thing up and yeah... it's not the best...  
> Though I do suppose that the fact he ends up locked to the spot with handcuffs does come with a lot of possibilities. Whether I executed my plan well, is another question.  
> I do have to admit that I got a bit carried away and that the real stuff only starts about halfway in, I guess...  
> This is my first time writing Omo, so please go easy on me *looks pleadingly*  
>   
> Also, I had a bit of a fight with Grammarly, forcing me to use another place than the ao3 thingie to use it to go over the whole thing and I decided to use their dedicated word processor, considering I didn't really want to put this in my google drive, where I can forget to delete it and accidentally show it to people, while doing uni work. The thing is that the lovely processor of Grammarly just plainly deletes all previous formatting on the pasted text. I've re-added it but if you find any inconsistencies in formatting, please either ignore them or point them out to me.  
> Anyway, I've held you up long enough, if you actually read this, do go and enjoy this... whatever this is...

The Doctor has always been able to get completely caught up in things, sure his tendency to do so differed in every regeneration, but it had always been there. Everyone who had spent a reasonable amount of time around him would tell you that the Time Lord often didn't register questions or remarks that weren't related to the subject that had piqued his interest. Sure it arguably was handy to be able to completely focus on one thing at the time without noticing other things in the meantime, cause dropping some sort of radioactive bomb because your companion accidentally played her music on the loudest setting right next to your ear wasn't exactly wanted. But thankfully he hadn't registered it at all until after he had been done and only suffered from a torn eardrum, which he also only noticed afterwards.  
  
However, there certainly were downsides to his habit of getting caught up in things. He didn't notice anything outside his little bubble and this meant that he also didn't notice his own bodily needs and that basically meant that everything often caught up with him once he was done. Most of those caught-up needs where easily taken care of afterwards no matter where he was, he could easily carry some food and water in his pocket and if he needed it even some supplement that could keep him awake. However, he had learned the hard way that there was no way to take care of his bladder afterwards, at least, not everywhere. Obviously, this has let to a fair amount of embarrassing situations for our poor Time Lord.

* * *

The Doctor was working on the console of the TARDIS, which he had been doing the whole night, or whatever passes as night on the TARDIS, ever since Donna had gone to bed. He had promised her yesterday to take her to the best beach in the universe, she had been really excited about it and if he was honest, he was too. But of course his human companion needed rest first, so he had ended up with a fair amount of spare time, something that happened basically every night.  
  
He worked until the TARDIS alerted him Donna was waking up, the TARDIS had found out that the only way to get his attention when he was working onto something was giving him a telepathic probe in the area of his brain that he was using, therefore she was the only one capable to disturb him. He wasn't really complaining about that, or he could easily end up working on the console forever.  
  
Just as he climbed back out of the grating from under the console he suddenly felt something burning hot in his jacket pocket, he frowned not realising what it was. he quickly dug into his pocket to find out what it was, as it wasn't a pleasant kind of hot, more of the kind that makes you want to scream out in pain at prolonged exposure.  
  
In his search for whatever was burning in his pocket out he pulled out a Yo-Yo, a fidget spinner, a toaster, a teddy bear, a couple of dog cookies, at least he thought that were dog cookies he was too focused on the burning thing to taste and check it, one of the oldest mobile phones ever made and a golden ticket for Hedgewick's World before he finally found the culprit.  
  
The psychic paper, of course! He had forgotten that the psychic paper could do that. He quickly read the message on the paper.  
  
**The Library**  
  
**come as soon as**  
  
**you can X**  
  
He sighed, there went the plans for the beach, they had to go to the Library now, whoever had sent the message, must've sent it with a good reason. Sending a message to psychic paper wasn't exactly simple.  
  
The Time Lord quickly gathered the stuff he had discarded earlier and went to tell Donna that she shouldn't bother to get dressed for the beach. He knew that she wasn't going to be pleased about it, well, most likely the complete opposite of pleased.  
  
He burst into Donna's room after the TARDIS had assured him that she was decent, something he checked every time since the third incident of him walking in on her not sufficient dressed. He really didn't fancy that happening a fourth time and not just because of the slap he would most likely get from that.  
  
“Oi, have you ever heard of knocking!!” Donna shrieked, despite the fact that she was, indeed, already wearing a striped beach dress.  
  
“Takes too long!” He answered. “Anyway, change of plans, no more beach, it's overrated anyway, we're going to The Library, so err, you might want to get changed into something else.” he rambled.  
  
“I just put this on!” Donna shrieked indignantly.  
  
“Yeah, and now you're taking it off again.” The Doctor answered sassily, then slightly blushed as he realised how that could be taken and quickly left the room as if he hadn't said that. “We'll be there in five minutes.” He called from the hallway.  
  
He could hear her frustrated groan, he felt sorry, but right now they had to go to The library to find out why they had to go there.  
  
As he was walking towards the console room he tried to figure out who could've sent the message, he didn't recognize the handwriting, but that didn't necessarily say anything as it was a telepathic send message, your telepathic handwriting wasn't necessarily the same as your actual handwriting.  
  
He sighed, he would figure it out once they were there.  
  
He quickly started working on the console to get get the TARDIS to land into The Library in the requested time.  
  
Just as he was about to land the TARDIS Donna entered the console room.  
  
He smiled at her and pulled the handbrake causing them to land with a thump.  
  
“Books! People never stop loving books.” He started as he grabbed his coat and headed towards the door.  
  
“51st century.” He tells Donna as he walks towards the door across the room. “By now you've got holovids, fiction mist, direct-to-brain downloads,” He stops for a moment thinking. “That one isn't necessarily a good thing, I've seen that go terribly wrong before.” He told her, remembering the Cybermen incident in Pete's world and of course the battle at Canary Wharf as he stopped in front of the door turning to Donna.”Anyway, you still need the smell. The smell of books, Donna. Deep breath.” He opened the door while walking slightly backwards.  
  
“The Library, So big, it doesn't need a name. Just a great big The.”  
  
“It's like a city!” Donna exclaimed.  
  
“It's a world. Literally a world. The whole core of the planet is the index computer-the biggest hard drive ever. And up here, every book ever written. Jeffrey Archer, Bridget Jones, Monty Python's Big Red Book, Harry Potter. Brand new editions specially printed. We're near the equator, so...” He licked his finger and held it up in the air and then suddenly exclaimed. “Biographies! I love biographies.”  
  
“Yeah, very you. Always a death at the end.” Donna said,  
  
The Time Lord looked affronted at her.  
  
“You need a good death. Without death, there'd only be comedies. Dying gives us size.” He noticed Donna lifting up a book and quickly snatched it away from her.”Oi Spoilers!”  
  
“What.” She asked confused.  
  
“These books are from your future.” He told her as he tossed the book aside.”You don't want to read ahead and spoil the surprise. Like peeking at the end.”  
  
He shifted his weight and all of a sudden became aware of a familiar but unwelcome pressure in his abdomen. He mentally groaned. Why couldn't his bladder have made itself known like 10 minutes ago? When he had been alone and could've used the loo without having to tell anyone, he never liked admitting that he had any kind of need, Time Lords didn't need to pee, they were supposed to be better than that.  
  
Okay, to be honest, maybe a bit too proud to admit it. Same thing right?  
  
He realised that he wasn't even feeling the first signs of a need to pee, he must've been needing to go for hours already without him noticing. He mentally sighed.  
  
_This is what you get from working on the TARDIS console all night._  
  
He wasn't desperate just yet, Time Lords could go on without the loo for a lot longer than humans, so he didn't doubt his ability to keep holding it.  
  
That didn't mean he was comfortable with waiting though.  
  
“Isn't travelling with you one big spoiler?” Donna wondered, grabbing his attention again.  
  
“I try to keep you away from major plot developments...” he answered, as he considered maybe lying to Donna that he had forgotten the sonic on the TARDIS or something similar, so he could just go back and use the toilet without her having to know. But his own brain had to crush those plans as it registered something. “Which to be honest I seem to be very bad at, cause you know what? This is the biggest library in the universe... so where is everyone. It's silent.”  
  
As he got caught up with this new mystery, the current condition of his bladder was completely forgotten.

* * *

To say that the day wasn't quite going as he would've wished was most likely the understatement of the current century. Two people had died already and the remaining five, he included, were in danger of doing the same and one of them was already targetted and would almost surely die. And god knows what happened to Donna, he was only slightly assured in the fact that she was still alive because of that quick flash earlier.  
  
Right now he was trying to figure out why the Vashta Nerada, hunters, were inside The Library instead of their natural habitat. Forests.  
  
“These are our forests.” The Vashta Nerada told him through proper Dave, their second victim.  
  
“You're not in a forest. You're in a library. There are no trees in a... “The Doctor stopped talking in realisation. “library.”  
  
“We should go. Doctor!” He heard other Dave tell him, but he ignored him.  
  
“Books. You came in the books. Microspores in a million million books.” The Time Lord thought out loud.  
  
“We should go. Doctor!” He heard other Dave say another time, but he ignored it once again.  
  
“Oh look at that.” The Doctor looked out at The Library. “The forests of the Vashta Nerada, pulped, printed and bound... a million million books, hatching shadows.”  
  
“We should go. Doctor!” He heard a third time, and this time realisation hit the Time Lord.  
  
He turned to other Dave. “Oh... Dave.” he walked towards the other man.”Oh, Dave, I'm so sorry.”  
  
Other _Dave was dead._  
  
The Doctor looked back at proper Dave and then back to other Dave, they were slowing advancing towards him, effectively trapping him. At least, that was what they thought.  
  
“Thing about me, I'm stupid. I talk too much. Always babbling on. This gob doesn't stop for anything. Well, maybe bananas, bananas are good. But, want to know the only reason I'm still alive? Always stay near the door.” At the end of his mini-lecture, he used the sonic screwdriver on the trapdoor below him and then quickly clung to the girder just below the corridor with just one hand as the other was still holding the sonic. He had to bit his lip to stifle the moan that had threatened to escape him as he felt his urine slosh painfully in his bladder when his body got suddenly jerked back from where it had wanted to go, he crossed his legs to try and sooth his bladder a bit.  
  
He sighed. When he had planned his escape, he hadn't quite taken the effect of the downward force on his full bladder into account as he had forgotten about it up until it had decided to harshly remind him of its fullness. It had grown from uncomfortable to urgent in the past hour and a half. He frowned, wondering how his need had grown this quickly. If past experience served him right it shouldn't be this bad, yet! And yes, he was slightly ashamed that he actually had that knowledge of that particular subject.  
  
Then he remembered that he had drunk hot chocolates with Donna last night. He had drunk as many as six! And it was finally catching up to his bladder.  
  
_Oops..._  
  
He put the sonic in his mouth so he could hold the girder with two hands, no one knows why he didn't just put the sonic back in his pocket, but this is The Doctor so let's not question it.  He looked up to where he had to climb to get to spot where he could get inside again and saw an opened window at the end of the girder, about 50 feet away.  
  
_Okay, I can do this!_ He thought to himself.  
  
He braced himself and went for the first swing needed to get himself to the other side, however in order to him to be able to move properly he had separate his legs causing his bladder to complain instantly, but he just tried and ignored it. He had to go on, people were depending on him.  
  
The fact that he was dangling in the air more than a 1000 feet above the ground might've also played a roll in his eagerness to get away from there.  
  
Every swing he took to get himself to the window was an assault on the muscles holding back his bladder's content, but he ignored it in the best way he could and kept going on.  
  
After a couple of minutes spent in agony, he finally reached the window. Upon closer inspection he realised that it would be a close fit, looking through the window he noticed that it was roughly a 3 feet drop. Normally he could easily handle a drop like that, but he knew that right now the landing would be pure agony on his bladder.  
  
_I really need to start remembering to take more bathroom breaks._ He thought to himself with a grimace as he carefully climbed through the window.  
  
He mentally prepared himself for the expected jolt through his bladder just before he let himself fall.  
  
Nevertheless, he couldn't keep himself from letting out a gasp, causing the sonic to drop to the floor, as the force of the impact with the ground jolted through his bladder, his hand quickly shot between his legs to prevent him from leaking.  
  
He cursed himself for getting stuck in his current situation, knowing that there wasn't much he could do right now to make it better.  
  
When he got the control over his muscles back he slowly straightened again.  
  
_To find himself right in front of the door to the bathrooms!_  
  
His eyes widened, he couldn't be this lucky! He quickly tried to calculate if he could afford to go in really quickly.  
  
And then he noticed the shadow right in front of the door, which wasn't cast by anything, he sighed in disappointment.  
  
_Gotta wonder: do the Vastha Nerada even know what they're blocking?_ He thought to himself, as he started walking in the direction the others went, not forgetting to pick the sonic back up, wincing when he felt another painful throb in his lower abdomen. _Probably not, it's not as if they have any need for bathrooms... I think._  
  
He was just going to have to wait until after he had dealt with them.  
  
While he was looking for the others he was pounding over how he was going to be able to hold it all in for the time it would take to fix this mess and for him to find an opportunity to sneak away afterwards. The worst part was that he had no clue how much more time it was going to take to fix it. However, once he caught up with the group and heard River talk about (future) him, his bodily problem was immediately pushed back to the back of his mind again.

* * *

The Time Lord looked sadly at the spot where River had been a few minutes ago. He had no idea who she was, but she had made it painfully obvious that she would mean a lot to his future self by whispering his name to him.  
  
There weren't a lot of people that could know a Time Lord's name, basically really only their parents and spouses, so it wasn't all that hard to make the mental leap of where River had learned that name.  
  
He wasn't sure whether he liked that thought.  
  
The Doctor gasped when his bladder spasmed, reminding him harshly of its existence and making him very aware that it was about ten times done with holding all his pee.  
  
He let out a quick curse as he quickly grabbed his crotch and bent forward just a little bit. However, he couldn't prevent a small trickle bit of urine from leaking out of him, slightly wetting his boxers.  
  
His body's message was loud and clear, his bladder really needed to be voided! And it had certainly stopped caring about convenience.  
  
He sat up, planning to stand, only to be pulled back by the handcuffs River had put him in.  
  
The Time Lord turned to look at them in slight surprise. He had completely forgotten about them.  
  
Turning back he carefully tried to reach for the sonics River had put on the floor next to him, however, his bladder contracted at the movement causing his hand to shoot back between his legs immediately while he focused on his muscles, desperately trying to keep all the liquid inside his body.  
  
He wanted to scream out of frustration, there was no way he could get out of the handcuffs in his current state and even if he could, he was in the very rarely visited core of the planet, there was no way there actually was a bathroom anywhere close.  
  
So basically he was stuck where he was and dangerously close to wetting his pants. Not exactly the best of situations.  
  
He considered his options, sure, he could try and wait till someone came back here, wondering what was taking him and River so long. However, he was under no illusions that he could actually wait that long even if there had been a toilet nearby. It was already taking most of his strength to hold it.  
  
Not forgetting how much he did not want to tell anyone about his current predicament, especially not Lux, who would most likely be the one to look for them as he was the only one who would know the way. He blushed at the thought of anyone seeing him like this, let alone a guy who he barely knew.  
  
_He had a reputation to upkeep that didn’t involve wetting himself like a toddler!!_  
  
The Time Lord was trying very hard to forget all the incidents that had had witnesses. And, of course, the ones that didn’t have witnesses as well. He really wasn’t fond of adding another one on the list.  
  
A sharp pain racked through his bladder, causing him to cringe, he looked around the room for any options that didn’t involve just letting go and explaining to someone how he had ended up with soaked trousers. Not that they would need an explanation, they would probably be perfectly capable of guessing what had happened.  
  
The only thing he could see was a corner that was free of any electrical wiring, which he would’ve made do with if he had been able to actually move there.  
  
He yanked at the handcuffs again, frustrated and slightly panicked by the situation.  
  
The Time Lord was unable to sit still and kept rocking in his attempt to keep it all in but it was becoming really hard.  
  
He shot another look at the sonics, he could try them again, but he knew that would be futile, River had deliberately placed them either just outside his reach or just inside it and he knew that he was in no state to try reaching for them at the moment.  
  
The Doctor gasped as his need heightened again and he felt himself leak.  He grabbed his crotch in desperation managing to slop the flow, but there was now a visible wet spot on his trousers.  
  
He let out another curse, his need to pee had only heightened after the small laps in control and he knew that he didn’t have much time left to come up with a solution to his problem.  
  
He was stuck on this specific spot with nothing but the clothes he was wearing.  
  
_Now that was a thought._  
  
The Time Lord quickly extracted his only free hand from between his legs to frantically search his pockets for something he could use.  
  
He found and threw out a piece of string, a Rubik's cube, a fake snake and a snow globe, his bladder had reacted immediately when he saw the water in the thing and he had crossed his legs with a gasp trying to frantically regain control.  
  
Once he had his control (partly) back, he let out a sigh before quickly continuing his search knowing that he really couldn't wait much longer.  
  
He removed an Arduino, a copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and a small pocket watch before he found what he needed. The Doctor pulled out an empty bottle and felt a bit of relief at finally having a 'solution' to his problem.  
  
He immediately regretted his momentary lapse of concentration when he felt liquid forcing its way out of his urethra.  
  
He let out another curse and quickly unscrewed the cap of the bottle while fighting his protesting muscles.  
  
When he had the cap of the bottle removed he put the bottle in front of him, then quickly shifted to sit on his knees and started to fumble with his fly, trying to open it, which normally would've been a bit difficult since he could only use one hand, but in his current state it was pretty much impossible.  
  
He let out a small whimper as he felt a bit more of his urine leaving his body without permission, he quickly grabbed himself trying to regain at least a little control.  
  
The Time Lord had managed to stop the leaking but he knew that it was only for a short moment. He was bursting.  
  
He looked at the bottle again, then looked back to the fastening of trousers. In order to undo them, he would have to let go of the death grip he had on himself.  
  
He bit his lip, feeling that he would lose all remaining control the moment he'd move his hand. Yet, at the same time, it was his best shot at avoiding completely wetting himself.  
  
He let out another curse at his situation.  
  
_Relief was so close, yet so far away._  
  
He took a deep breath before carefully but quickly moving his hand back to the buttons of his trousers, determined to undo the fastenings before his muscles completely gave up on him.  
  
The Doctor let out a gasp when he put a little too much pressure on the button trying to open it and accidentally pressed into his overfull bladder causing the dam to finally burst.  
  
It was a small stroke of luck that the button actually came undone at that. He would’ve smiled at that little bit of success if he hadn’t been completely focused on this ball-ish thing filled with liquid that people called bladder and the fact that it had kinda started forcefully pushing out said liquid.  
  
He wasted no time lowering his zipper, before quickly pulling himself out of his boxers. He couldn’t prevent himself from leaking on the floor while he tried to move himself in front of the opening of the bottle while being very careful not to knock it over.  
  
Once he had positioned himself correctly, he allowed his muscles to fully relax. Not that he had much of a choice now anyway.  
  
He let out a gasp of relief as his pee finally left his body freely. He eyes closed as he revelled in the bliss of emptying his overfull bladder. In the back of his mind, he thought that the bottle was probably in danger of falling over since he wasn’t really doing anything to ensure it wouldn’t. His barely functioning brain also briefly remembered the fact that the bottle could overflow.  
  
The Time Lord, however, couldn’t bring himself to care about either potential problems, the logically thinking part of his brain was completely overwhelmed with the orgasm-like feeling of voiding his bladder after having held it for so long.  
  
He was breathing heavily by the time the stream finally slowed down to a trickle, he opened his eyes again while he forced out the last drips into the bottle, which he noticed with a slight wince was almost filled to the brim.  
  
He sighed quietly before looking around him for the cap of the bottle, which he located slightly on his left, where he had dropped it in his haste to get relief. He quickly screwed the cap back on the bottle, before looking down at his pants, taking in the damage.  
  
Unsurprisingly his boxers were completely soaked, and his trousers had a visible wet patch. The Doctor bit his lip in thought as he zipped his trousers back up. He knew that if he showed up with a wet patch on his trousers patch people would ask questions and make (correct) assumptions. The question was though, what to do about it? Sure he had a change of clothes on him but that was his other suit so people would ask why he’d changed his clothes and he didn’t really have an excuse for that.  
  
He turned to the sonics laying on top of River’s diary and frowned. Couldn't he use the sonic to…  
  
The Time Lord carefully reached out another time for his sonic, this time succeeding in recovering them. It really helped that he wasn’t in a hurry nor dealing with an overfull bladder.  
  
He quickly opened the handcuffs locking him to a pipe with his sonic. Slightly messaging his wrist he turned back to look at the bottle he filled, then reached back into his pocket, retrieving a small plastic bag in which he put the bottle to keep it secure until he could get rid of it before putting it his jacket pocket.  
  
After that he carefully stood up, stretching his muscles slightly before turning to the next thing that needed addressing,  
  
_His trousers._  
  
The Doctor frowned while changing the setting of the sonic before aiming it at the spot, hoping that it would work.  
  
It wasn’t really effective, but it did indeed work. It took him about 5 minutes to dry up the wet patch on his trousers.  
  
“Right then.” He said to himself, satisfied with the results, before taking a step in the direction of the exit, slightly wincing at the wet feeling of his still soaked boxers.  
  
He was sure of one thing: once back on the TARDIS he would jump directly under a hot shower.  
  
Well, after Donna had left to do her own stuff and he had undressed, but after that, he had a shower screaming his name.

**Author's Note:**

> In my past self's defence, in the originally planned ending, he actually got out of those handcuffs in time to still find a bathroom. Then I actually arrived at writing it and realized that there wouldn't actually be one available anywhere close to the location he was at and I decided to just go for this.


End file.
